Straight white men, I bet you thought we left you out. This country may have turned its back on you, but we haven't. Here's a pledge of your own:
I _______________ pledge to transfer my support from Hillary Clinton to John McCain. I agree to do all I can do to get McCain the vote. In order to achieve this noble goal I promise to support McCain's...
- commitment to follow Osama Bin Laden to the gates of hell.
- opposition to limiting soldiers' deployment to 12 months.
- fight against benefits for veterans.
- support of Bush's preemptive war doctrine.
- Operation Infinite Presence in Iraq.
As a straight white man I promise to apply McCain's principles to my own life and vow to...
- use Iran/Iraq and Shiites/Sunnis interchangeably.
- clear my schedule for the next 100 years.
- enlist in the military.
- follow Osama Bin Laden to the gates of hell (while smiling).
- be willing to kill and/or be killed in Iraq.
- be willing to kill and/or be killed in Iran.
- be willing to kill and/or be killed in Syria.
- be willing to kill and/or be killed in Venezuela.
Once McCain is elected, I will continue to support him and I will not complain about my loss of limbs or life. And I will continue to refrain from questioning the war in Iraq or any other wars we will be fighting.
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